Rainbow Diaries: Final prep for the Will Challenge!
Saturday 2 November 2024: Week 6
Go me… I’ve actually managed to do this blog consistently for six weeks, despite a very busy schedule!
This week has all been about final prep for the award-winning Will Challenge - which is currently over 110 participants, the biggest intake so far! I’m SO excited to share my knowledge and take people to the next step with this vital legal document… all for free!!
Anyhow, onto the weekly diaries…
1. This Week's Internal Weather Report!
Finally the chest pains seem to be easing, so perhaps they were anxiety of epic proportions afterall! But the amazing NHS are running some tests just to be on the safe side. This week was blood test and blood pressure, ECG to come. Anyhow, here goes for the weekly weather forecast…
Storm clouds: With the physical niggles thankfully improving and the London lurgy hopefully gone, the biggest storm clouds this week was the horses… not because they did anything wrong, just because the set up isn’t ideal… so I spend a lot of time in the truck to and from the yard every evening and every morning and the walk between the stable and field is quite long… but, the horses are always a place of calm once we get there and I think it’s just the time of year… the start of the long nights and short days… and the feeling that the shortest day of the year is still ages away! But I know how super lucky we are to have them, so I feel bad complaining, they are the thing that lights up the world for my kids and I am so grateful for all that we do have.
Rainbow: The most exciting rainbow this week was the popularity of the free Will Challenge… it’s the first time I’ve ever done it a second time in the same year and I worried that my audience hadn’t grown enough to have such a big intake, but thanks to a combination of the Clean & Tidy show, a Sadmin podcast that came out this week and all you gorgeous people sharing my content… it’s a fabulous number of people who will all hopefully get round their mind monkeys and get their Wills sorted!
Sunshine: A really personal sunshine moment this week but after a lifetime of putting everyone else first (as you’ll notice next week when I run the free Will Challenge!), I’ve finally learnt what self care means for me… it’s not bubble baths and candles… it’s the basics: good healthy food cooked from scratch, plenty of squash and water, lots of sleep and some chilling in front of the TV with my kids… The Notebook had me in floods of tears (but as I tell my clients, sometimes we need a good cry!) and Emily in Paris is simply pure joy on the screen!!
2. Business Reflections
Grief and Life Coaching updates: The work life balance has been pretty good, so I’ve managed to juggle the 1:1 client appointments around half term with the least amount of worry ever. Although it can be tough to see people struggling in their grief and knowing that they need to find their own answers, it’s so good to know that simply having the space to air what’s on their minds and have me reflect back their issues can be a huge help. I feel so fortunate to have found a job that I find so rewarding.
Course creation update: With half term I haven’t had a lot of time to work on the Sadmin course, but I did another talk, this time in a business coach’s membership group about the importance of sorting out the Sadmin and I checked all the scheduled emails for the Will Challenge - I feel so eternally grateful for the amazing back-office software I introduced earlier this year and my amazing new VA whose attention to detail is fantastic!
Light-bulb moments: Having other people verify how useful the things I’m advocating for makes my heart sing. Last week it was someone impressed by how I start with Foundations and self care, this week it was someone illustrating the importance of powers of attorney and sharing horror stories about decisions made by the local authority when no attorney had been nominated… I’ll talk more about all of this in the free talk at the end of the Will Challenge… so if you’re interested please message me and I’ll send you a link for the talk.
3. Parenting Teens in Grief
Family highlight: Halloween isn’t my favourite… our neighbourhood is SO popular that people travel here just to go trick or treating! It means I spend a fortune on sweets… and even after buying in extra supplies, this year I’d run out of sweets by 7pm. But, the family highlight this week was the fact that my teens took the train to Exeter without me to go shopping… and I got a magical few hours at home on my own! For those who know my family background… this was a huge step and I’m so thrilled it was such a success!
Challenge of the week: This week’s challenge is probably one a lot of fellow parents can empathise with… keeping my cool when overwhelmed by the work / half term juggle… especially when there’s a backlog of work due to being so poorly the week before! Thankfully, I’ve learnt so much about regulating my nervous system and telling the children when I’m feeling a bit disregulated by other stuff, so actually this wasn’t too much of an issue.
Lesson learned: We can all feel overwhelmed by life but it is a gift to be able to communicate to others when this happens and importantly tell them that it’s not about them… it’s about you. The big lesson I’ve learnt with all the nervous system stuff is how beneficial it can be to tell the kids when I’m feeling out of sorts but importantly to emphasise to them when it’s not their fault… so often kids can worry they’ve contributed to our problems, but it may actually be nothing to do with them!
4. Adventures with ADD
Classic ADD moment: I’m often confused whether it’s the dopamine-loving ADHD or the grief loneliness, but I have found myself falling down the scroll hole more than I’d like this week… it’s often a sign that my life has got a bit full and I need some kind of an escape!
Coping strategy spotlight: The best coping strategy for the overwhelm was the kids solo-visit to Exeter… over the years I’ve learnt that I sometimes just need to be in the house on my own. As a solo parent that can feel impossible, but if we plan well it can be done and the silence was magical!
ND silver lining: The dopamine-loving part of me definitely thrives under pressure… as the days and hours tick closer to the Will Challenge I’ve felt myself kicking into the ADHD bubbly sparkle and I’m SO excited to get started on Monday! I will let in last minute folk… so please keep spreading the word and you can sign up here.
5. Widow's Corner
Memory Lane: Huge memory lane moment this week as my elder daughter and I went to visit Si’s grave before remembrance… he always said he wanted visitors after he had died, so it means a lot to me to go there. Although the memory bench that I bought is being dried out and treated… so we didn’t stay quite as long as usual. We placed our remembrance poppy cross, shed a few tears and had a huge hug before heading off on our way.
Grief self care: In an attempt to get myself to hit pause and slow down, I’ve bought a Shakti mat… it’s basically a bed of nails, so no fidgeting… otherwise it hurts! It might sound a strange bit of self care, but 5 minutes on it each morning passes in the blink of an eye and has become a part of my daily routine!
Bittersweet rainbows: If I’d never experienced grief and had the financial freedom to retrain in my new career, I wouldn’t be able to help all these hundreds of people take this vital step forwards with their Wills… I would give anything to have Simon back with us, but sadly it isn’t possible. I just hope he’d be proud of all that we’re doing for others, as well as the horsey life we’ve created for ourselves.
6. Horse Tales
Update from the stables: Because of the endless fireworks that have already started, there have been a lot of trips backwards and forwards from the stables. I know we could have the horses in continuously, but I’m a big one for having them out when the weather permits it… so there’s been more time at the yard and more mucking out too! The big horse (the only one we ride!) bizarrely went lame at the beginning of the week but thankfully seems right again now. Even though it’s hard work, my heart is always happy when we’re round the horses.
Horse Rainbows: My elder daughter is learning so much about bringing on a youngster and is doing amazingly with our filly. It’s not plain sailing… the young ones can be so unpredictable and especially as our little horse a female, when in heat she can be quite the marey mare… but, despite the odd wobble, it really makes my heart sing to know how much joy she’s brought to the growing herd and how happy the kids are around the horses. And, I’m so grateful that we were able to have another learning session last weekend - acquiring knowledge from someone who has dealt with youngsters all their life is invaluable.
7. Sadmin Check-in
Weekly paperwork win: I didn’t get round to doing much of my own paperwork last week… although, the list of priorities is done… so I know what my first step needs to be, but I’m going to wait and do it alongside the new Sadmin course intake!
Current Sadmin challenge: Definitely prioritising my own stuff when I’m so focused on helping others with theirs! Note to self… think about building in some accountability sessions to the new Sadmin course, so I can do my stuff at the same time as the course participants!!
Tip of the week: A gorgeous clinical psychologist friend shared this one with me about a year ago… you can only do your best with the knowledge and resources you have at the time!
8. Looking Ahead
Next week's goal: The last free Will Challenge of 2024 starts on Monday (4th November)! So everything else will be on the back-burner… I think I may even have blocked out my diary and have the week free of 1:1 sessions, which would be my first week off 1:1 coaching in months… so all my energies will definitely be focused on the Challenge!
Self-care plan: Next week the self care basics will be vital… I know what I’m like when I’m in Challenge mode and I live and breathe helping others… so the personal boundaries are going to be so important to ensure I sleep enough, drink enough (water not booze!), eat healthily, spend time with the kids etc. I’ll tell you how it goes next week!!
As ever, thank you for taking time to read my ramblings… if anything has resonated please send me an email or message me on social media and let me know.
Finally, please remember… however you are feeling… you are not alone… there are amazing charities out there who can support and if you want to make an investment in yourself I’m here for coaching. Please listen to your gut and reach for the support you feel you need.
Until next week, keep hunting for those rainbows!
Take care of your gorgeous selves!
Emma x
PS Don’t forget to check out the 1:1 coaching packages, as well as being the most popular, the six session package is where great work is done… more details are here.