Accepting Help
Super Center Parcs. Not only did this charitably break make us all smile, we learnt a lot too including the fact that accepting or asking for help is actually a sign of strength.
Why asking for help is a strength not a weakness
I posted a shorter version of this blog on my social media channels and, after seeing all the responses, it has reinforced my new belief that it is a sign of strength to accept help that is offered and a sign of courage and bravery to ask for additional help that we might need.
However, I have always found it difficult to accept help, let alone ask for it. In fact, I often used to joke that I would have struggled to accept help if it was handed to me on a silver platter. Unfortunately, that did not change when my husband was terminally ill or just after he died. As a consequence, over the years of being the wife of a terminally ill husband and more recently as a widow, I have had moments of feeling utterly burnt out.
My old belief was that it seemed that there were a lot of other people who need the help more than I did. It made me feel uneasy to think of our family as a charity case and it felt scary to highlight our issues when I knew that everyone has their own stuff going on. Just recently I have had a mind-shift… I now think that it is a strength to acknowledge when you need a hand.
Just recently we accepted a respite break at Center Parcs from the amazing military charity for bereaved Forces children, Scottys Little Soldiers. It was the perfect example of the good work that charities can do. Not only was it a lovely holiday with friends, but we learnt some important lessons:
We need to do things that make us smile in order to get the most from life, regardless of what has happened in the past.
As a smaller family of three, it is vital for my girls and I to work together better.
It might be funny to joke about Mummy’s role being the one that deals with the jobs that no one else wants to do, but Mummy should not be treated like a slave!
We are not the only ones who have suffered tragic bereavement, so the world does not revolve around us or our grief.
As ever life is not perfect and our family holiday had its inevitable moments of family angst (such as cycling to the pool in a relentless downpour, bike accidents and a family argument between me and my girls), but we had an awesome time with friends in a place that holds special memories of my daughters’ inspirational father figure who sadly died over five years ago.
Please don't be like I was, when you want to please reach out and ask for help and please take help when it is offered.
Asking for help can be scary, but it is a brave thing to do x
