My 7 tips for coping with the low days…

Back in my late teens and early twenties, way before I learnt anything about mental health or neurodivergence, I used to say that I suffered with what I called “Post Party Depression”.

It started off as a joke…

But actually it wasn’t funny.

Although I would try to laugh it off… I was in fact often in the midst of a huge low that would hit me like a train after anything fun, especially if I’d just had a great time with friends and family.

Yes, I know… everyone who drinks too much booze or has a great time out is likely to have some kind of hangover, whether it is full blown sickness or a lethargic tiredness that gets in the way of any meaningful productivity… but the kind of low that hit me would leave me truly floundering about in a depressed daze, unsure of what next step to take. I realise now that one of the things about ADHD is that I have a naturally low level of dopamine in my system, so, what is needed on those grey days is lowering my standards and loads of self-compassion… looking after the kids, giving myself some TLC and putting three meals on the table is a success.

So, what are the “Boxing Day blues”?

You don’t have to have a neurodivergence, or experienced any huge life event to hit a low after a huge high…

But what might help you to understand the “Boxing Day blues” is to learn a bit about what goes on in our bodies during busy periods… the three chemicals that are likely to increase dramatically when we have a full-on life are:

Adrenaline - the hormone which helps you to act in stressful situations (the “fight or flight” response)
Dopamine - the chemical that gives you feelings of pleasure, satisfaction and motivation
Oxytocin - the happy hormone often called the “love hormone” or the “cuddle chemical”!

High levels of these are not sustainable, so, what goes up needs usually comes back down…

*Who else had a great time but feels exhausted?!*

As a result, it’s only natural after all the planning, preparations and excitement of Christmas Day that we are left in an over-eating and exhausted pile of exhaustion! However, the severity of people’s dips will vary according to our own unique facts and circumstances, and some lucky people may not experience the Boxing Day blues at all… they might be happy that Christmas is over and feel ready to push on with life plans.

What I’m trying to say is that it is totally normal to feel low after something like Christmas.

Combined with the drop in happy hormones, there is often a realisation that the everyday world is similar to how it was before… and, unless we make an effort to change something… nothing changes! But the good news is that once we understand what is happening, we can see it coming and we can plan how we will look after ourselves.

What happens if we work against it?

In my experience, if we ignore the signs our body is trying to tell us and we bulldoze through at the same crazy-fast pace of life… the chances are that we will burn out. If we don’t hit pause and rest after busy periods our bodies will force a rest by getting ill… coughs and colds, tummy upsets, headaches and skin problems can all be warning signs that we need to hit pause. There are a lot of demands on people’s time, but ignoring when we need to recharge our batteries rarely works out.

How to work with the “Boxing Day blues”?

As you might have gathered, I’m a passionate believer that the body keeps the score… so if you’re tired, low on energy or feeling the Boxing Day blues… I wonder what it is that your body is telling you it needs to do?

Do you need more sleep, get some earlier nights, eat healthier food, drink more water or take some exercise in the fresh air?

Here are my seven tips for working with (not against) the Boxing Day blues:

Plan for the highs and the lows… if you are someone who thrives off being busy, helping others and getting those adrenaline and dopamine kicks… become more aware of your own unique rollercoaster of emotions, make a note of when the ups and downs happen… then you can plan to maximise the highs by ensuring they are times of huge productivity and you can avoid things that need your energy in the lows so that you can rest and relax.
Work with the lows… although keeping busy is a distraction from looming grey clouds, instead of bulldozing on through the lows and ignoring what your body needs, find a way of embracing the dips. Ideas for quality me-time in these periods includes… saying “no” to the things that don’t serve you, taking time out for journaling, snuggling in front of the TV, watching a comedy to lift your mood or reaching out to others for company.
Learn what picks you up… if you find you are missing those magical natural chemicals of dopamine, adrenaline and oxytocin… work out what natural and healthy things you can do to brighten the dark days and release more of those… Would a run in the rain give you an adrenaline hit and help you to sleep? Is cold water swimming your thing for getting a spark back into life? Or, do you need company from someone who “gets it” and who can support you through your tears and help you to laugh again? Whatever it is, try to find something healthy that redresses the chemical imbalance in your brain.
Let the tears flow… our bodies really do know what we need… did you know that crying releases oxytocin?! Allowing those tears to flow doesn’t just get the sadness out of our system, but it’s our miraculous body’s way of rebalancing those three chemicals above. As many of you will know, oxytocin is the same feel-good hormone released when we have a hug with a loved one - so crying is actually good for you!
Spread kindness… kindness to yourself and others reduces stress. As a consequence, a wonderful medicine for stressed moments is to be kind, most importantly to yourself… treat yourself as a loved one would treat you if they could.
Remember, the body keeps the score… instead of disconnecting from what you are feeling… think about the physical messages your body is giving you and think about what it is that those aches and pains are saying… what do you need to do to nurture and look after your gorgeous selves? Listening to your body may just give you the answer!
Reach out to others…it’s a tricky time of year for so many people. I am a huge believer that sharing our stories is amazing therapy for ourselves and it can normalise emotions for other people who may be facing their own battles at this time of year. There is a magic in sharing emotional moments and grief can’t heal in isolation… so reach out for support to friends, family or one of the amazing organisations (there’s a list of ones that are close to my heart in my Directory).

Don’t forget that I love to get emails… so feel free to reach out to me about anything in this blog by writing to me at emma@rainbowhunting.co.uk or check out the One-to-One services that I offer.