Why I’m not setting goals, yet!
With all the chat about reviewing the year that’s been and goal-setting for the new year… it would be easy to forget that January is actually still mid-winter!
Instead of bulldozing into 2024 with high energy for a dry January or punishing exercise regimes,
I’m not setting my goals for the new year just yet and here’s why…
According to a Google search, winter this year spans the period from Friday 22 December 2023 all the way through until Wednesday 20 March 2024… this means that the months of winter are: December, January and February… and therefore the month that starts immediately after New Years Eve is really mid-winter.
So what if January is mid-winter?!
January is actually still mid-winter!
Winter is the coldest and darkest season of the year… it’s a time of snow and freezing temperatures, the nights are dark and long and the daylight is shortened. Humans, like the wild mammals who hibernate in nature, are sensitive to the cold… and maybe there is a lesson we can learn from these other animals who slow down at this time of year!?
What I’m trying to suggest is that there may be benefits of setting aside the zeal for fresh starts and commitments… and instead we should be focusing on the restorative effects of snuggling down and preserving energy in January. Whilst humans cannot hibernate, slowing down and finding time could mean that we get to February with energy that matches the Springtime season!
So, I’m sharing with you the six things I am making time for… in the hope that you can find time to enjoy some solitude to nurture yourselves at this chilliest time of year. In the meantime, if you want to read more about Wintering, the wonderful author Katherine May wrote a book and some of her thoughts are summarised in an article she wrote for the Guardian back in 2020 (there’s a link to the article here).
Six things I’m making time for this January
For those who want to nurture and pace themselves as we enter a new year, here are six things I’m continuing to make time for this next month…
Noticing the little things
Meditation - bare with me on this, as a quirky-brain ADHDer, I totally understand that many people struggle with meditation… I too find it hard to switch off my thoughts at the best of times, but a bad back means I benefit from stretching out my spine along the hard floor each morning. In order not to waste that time, back in the summer I started listening to 10 minute Calm meditations at the beginning of each day and it is now a daily practice. Similarly, at the end of everyday when I get into bed, I take a moment to write down all the things I am grateful for that day… I hugely recommend finding time for these two 15 minutes blocks of time. In only a few minutes you can focus your mind on the positives and bring happiness into your life.
Planning - I used to tell myself that my quirky brain meant that I was no good at time management, but this year I realised that is just a thought… we can all get better at things with practice. The game-changer I want to share is that making time for planning really does make life easier. Each evening before I switch off from work I make a plan for the next day (both home and work related), once a week (usually on a Sunday evening) I sit down and reflect on the week that’s been and set out my priorities for the week ahead and once a month I do similarly for the month that’s gone and the month ahead. These precious moments of time concentrate my mind help help me keep on track with my priorities.
Reading - This one can be tricky for those who are bereaved. After my husband died, I felt lost because one of my go-to things to escape the world and relax has always been reading, but suddenly nothing held my attention, it all seemed so pointless… but over seven years later I’ve re-connected with my love to read… both for pleasure and to broaden my knowledge on topics that I love. Setting aside time for reading (or listening to audio books and podcasts) is my way of carving out 20 to 30 minutes for me to cozy up with a cuppa and dive into another world and it helps me to be more creative too!
Writing - There is a lot written about the power of journaling but it really can be an amazing way to help both yourself and others. There is a healing power in the act of writing down our thoughts… getting things out of our heads and onto a page is amazing personal therapy. When we see our own story from a different perspective it can shed new light on what’s happened and help us to better understand ourselves. Making time for writing also helps others by normalising experiences and sharing the things that happen to us.
Connection - By connection, I’m meaning those moments when you truly click with another person. Authentic connection with others creates an intimacy that is like a meal that fuels us… instead of a sugar rush that wears off and leaves you feeling flat. Making time to spend time and truly be with those who fill your cup is such an important part of being humans on this planet… we are social beings and being with others who “get it” is good for our soul… making time for those who add a sparkle to our lives (and telling them how much they mean to us) adds rainbows to life’s storms.
Enjoying the simple things - Two things are vital for Growing Life around Grief, and they apply to everyone wanting to search for rainbows, whether you’ve experienced a death or not… Acceptance and Gratitude. Sadly we can’t control what happens to us, but we can control what we focus on. This links in with the first point I mentioned above too… because when we are mindful about our experiences, we are more likely to enjoy them… we are more likely to consciously be grateful for the noise of loved ones laughing, hugs from special people, dips in the sea, birdsong on a walk, watching the sun rise and set each day, a warm house, hot clean water, nourishing food and a cozy bed… all little things that can bring more joy the more we notice them.
Finding joy in simple pleasures
Finding time for all six of these things might seem a huge overwhelming task… but for now, maybe just pick the one that speaks to you, then decide how much time you will find for it and diarise when you will do it… actually set aside the time in your diary like you would for a doctor’s appointment. Once that’s become a regular habit, come back to this article and see if there’s another that you’d like to make time for… and do the same again… decided how much time, when and put it into the calendar.
The aim of this blog is to encourage you not to bulldoze into the new year full of goal setting excitement and instead highlight the benefits of spending more time reflecting on what really brings joy to your world.
I’d love to know, if you were to create time for something in your life… what would you prioritise?
Send me an email and let me know, or share this blog to spread a movement that instead of bounding into the new year in a desperate search for the next big goal, perhaps success is finding time for the little things that make our heart sing and bring us happiness
x
Enjoy the little things in life,
For someday you will realise they were the big things.