The Importance of Rainbows

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25 Jan

When we heard the news that my late husband was terminally ill our world came crushing down around us. Unlike the worrier I used to be, my amazingly inspirational husband always managed to see the best in every situation. In contrast, living in a world of “coulds”, “shoulds” and “maybes”, I needed something to help me keep going regardless of the hurdles that kept popping up in our way. After the cancer diagnosis in 2013, I knew I needed to be more like my optimistic husband and rainbows were what helped me!

My Rainbow Hunting concept was first voiced a year after my husband’s chemotherapy treatment started. I was updating a friend about my husband’s terminal cancer and she was staggered by our positive outlook, despite the gloomy future that lay ahead of us. To explain about how we managed to keep going, a weather metaphor came to me. I told my friend that for me living with cancer in our family felt like living in turbulent and changeable weather: at times it was stormy and dark but I reminded myself that the sun and the stars never stop shining. Chasing rainbows became my mission and hope. I clung onto the belief that at some point the rain and wind would ease and brightness would emerge once again.

Thinking about it now, I realise that my Rainbow Hunting philosophy was subconsciously inspired by my late husband’s attitude of being cheerful and resilient in the face of adversity. The image of a translucent band of bright colours arching perfectly over the earth shows me that both sun and rain are needed to give birth to a magical rainbow. This belief in hope and the concept that lightness can emerge from the dark has shaped my world ever since.

We may have no control over what happens to us in life, but I believe that we can change the lens through which we see our life and we can choose to focus on the positives. We can learn to dance in the rain in anticipation of the fact that from our difficulties we can grow miracles. We may not believe it in the moment, but something beautiful may emerge from the darkness. So, if you feel miserable and as though you are in the midst of dark days, please remember that storms are the birthplace of rainbows.

To read about my initial days as a widow click here.

My top tips for hunting for your own Rainbows!

We cannot ignore the storms: looking for rainbows is a great concept but emotions need to be processed and sitting with the tricky issues is important.
Be in the present: when you see the rainbow don’t go searching for the pot of gold in the future, instead pause and enjoy the colours you can see today.
Find your focus: rainbows are easier to find when you know what makes your heart sing.
Kid’s joy: if you struggle to think of anything that makes you happy, think about what brought you joy and peace as a child.
There is no rule book: everyone’s experience is unique and therefore each person’s way of coping will be different – your way is the right way for you.
Humans are social beings: you are not expected to do this alone. Please reach out if you need help, either to friends, family or one of the amazing charities some of which are in my Resources Directory here.