“By being yourself, you put something wonderful in the world that was not there before”

- Edwin Elliot

Over the Christmas period rest is important, at yet sometimes our minds can be so busy that sleep eludes us. I had a morning where I woke at 4:30am and it reminded me how key dates and anniversaries can be a struggle for many of us...

After tossing and turning for hours, I finally resigned myself to my wakeful bleary eye state and silently pottered down the stairs in the darkness to let the dog out so she didn’t wake the children.

As I sat in front of my laptop, three words that my pre-teen sometimes says came to me and it felt important to share them...

"You do You"!

When life gets busy it is easy to push on through with the to-do list and feel that society expects so much from us...

At that moment, as I sat in my kitchen with the fairy lights on the Christmas tree twinkling at me in my house there were still Christmas cards unwritten, last-minute presents to purchase, tons of wrapping to do, food to plan, and a house to clean in preparation for the annual festive celebrations...

But, how much of this preparation comes from a grounded place of love and connection... and how much comes from a sense of obligation!?

The three little words above are, for me, intimately linked with the gift that becoming a widow has given me...

Loosing my husband led to so much therapy and self-reflection which enables me to look inside myself. Why that’s a gift is because I have had time and support to think about what it is that I really want to be doing with my life and what truly makes my heart sing.

The answer to that dilemma is a realisation that, at our core, us humans are social beings and connection with others from a place of congruence and compassion is vital...

After all, it's not what you said, what you did or what gifts you purchased that people will remember... it's how you made them feel.

And that feeling that you create within others is linked to who You truly are...

So it feels important that we know who You is so that we can be ourselves, share those sparks inside us, the smiles that light up our faces, that instinctive sense that someone just "gets it", the feeling that just being with another person can bring joy even on the darkest of days.

So, despite the crazy busy world we live in, please hit pause...

Think about who is "You", and connect with those around you from an honest place of knowing what being You means. And, if you need some encouragement… read the quote at the top again x

Finally, if you want to hear my top tips for dealing with the triggers that we face around key dates and anniversaries, check it out here.