Ever since I watched Prince Phillip’s funeral on 17 April last year, the Queen has been in my thoughts. I have not been able to shake the image of the frail yet noble lady dressed in black who stood in isolation in the wooden pews of St George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle at such a tragic time. Since then, my heart has been heavy with deep sympathy as the world witnessed a woman facing the rest of her life without her soulmate by her side. Whilst others were talking of the Queen’s leadership and integrity, as a widow myself, I could not see past the heartache of a lady who had lost her life partner of over 70 years. Although not many have the gift of such a long time with their spouses, the loss of a loved one who no longer can stand by one’s side and light up our lives is heartbreakingly sad.

Like many across the nation, I felt numb with shock when I heard the news a week ago on 8 September 2022 from the Queen’s doctors at Balmoral. It took me a day or so to process my thoughts. As the minutes and hours passed, we heard that the Queen was comfortable in her Highland residence as family rushed north of the border to be by her bedside. Aside from the historic consequences of the death of a monarch who has been the continuous thread for our nation running through the good times and the bad, I couldn’t help thinking of her more personal role as a loving mother, grandmother and the adoration she attracted from so many people from around the world.

Seeing the tears of our country, it is not difficult to understand why people avoid talking about death, but the reality is that death is the one certainty for all of us. Even in her passing, our Head of State continues to lead by example. A lesson for us all can be found in the Operation London Bridge plan, kept secret behind closed doors that has been in place since the 1960s, setting out in detail what would happen on the death of the Queen. It is therefore unsurprising that when D-Day occurred, the announcement to the nation of her declining health via a continuous live stream from the BBC on Thursday 8 September 2022 felt like the implementation of a well-planned series of events.

As she did during her lifetime, through her death Her Majesty the Queen leads by example and I feel that, regardless of how we feel about something, we cannot avoid dealing with matters that need our attention. For those that we leave behind, prior preparation and difficult conversations mean a tragic time is made just a bit easier. Knowing the wishes of the person who has gone leaves less to worry and stress. Having a plan in place enables our shocked loved ones to kick into action, they can fall into line and follow our orders rather than being forced to make snap decisions that will last a lifetime.

As the national mourning period draws towards its close, we are left with the memory of an inspirational role model whose grace and integrity will forever be remembered. The world will keep rolling with King Charles III as our new King but, as all who have lost a loved one will know, we never forget. Our grief does not magically heal or disappear, instead over time we learn to grow our lives around the grief that as the Queen herself said is the price we pay for love. Thank you to Her Majesty the Queen for her lifetime of service. My thoughts and deep sympathy remain with the Royal Family as they start to live life without the physical presence of Queen Elizabeth II.

Grief may be the price we pay for love but I never realised until I became a widow how emotionally and physically painful a broken heart can be. For those whose own grief may be triggered, please reach out for support - it the bravest thing you can do.

Check out the Directory in the Resources section on my website and take care of yourselves at this historic time.